Chasing After Dreams......Separately
Growing up I had this image of how marriage would be.
Wonderful, bright, beautiful.....
Truth be told-I'm really a sunshine and rainbows kinda girl.
I knew there would be trials and hard times but nothing
prepared me for reality.
My husband and I have been married for 8 1/2 years.
We have been together for 10 1/2 years.
Our entire formative adulthood has been spent together.
When we met I was 20 and he was 19.
I knew within 3 months that I was going to marry this man.
He was everything I never knew I needed.
The only thing was he was an unbeliever.
For most people that would be a deal breaker.
But right before Mike and I met,
I had walked away from God.
(As I have mentioned here.)
So what once was such an extremely important detail
in my life now was the last thing I was concerned about.
We got married when I was 22 and he was 21.
Goodness, to say that we were young is an understatement.
Mike and I are two completely different people.
He is an adventurer, a dare devil of sorts.
He loves anything that pushes the envelope to the edge
of excitement.
He has traveled to many countries.
Spent time in hostels, climbing glaciers, and hard core camping.
Discovered far away places for weeks at a time.
His free spirit is his greatest attribute yet his biggest enemy
at the same time.
I am cautiously adventurous.
I love stability and order.
I like to relax and not be on the go.
I am a closet dare devil.....I long to do the impossible
yet oftentimes fear it as well.
I like having a home and roots.
I've never traveled the world (yet!) other than to
Haiti for my yearly mission trip to the orphanage
and one cruise in my life.
I haven't been out of the South (yet!)
and I was raised pretty sheltered.
These two personalities oftentimes clash.
But as we have grown up together,
I have found myself very grateful, humbled and in love
with the spirit that is in my husband.
Shortly after we were married,
I completely surrendered to God and have walked with
Him every since that day.
There was a lot that had to be broken down and rebuilt in me
about who I thought God was and what He thought about me.
The first few years were spent repairing all of the cracks and chips
in the spiritual foundation that had been laid for me throughout my life.
8 years later
and my husband is still an unbeliever.
He has yet to fully come into the amazing Love of the Father.
AND THAT'S OK!!!!
I use to spend days worrying about him.
Sometimes trying to preach to him.
Thinking I was going to be the Way, the Truth and the Life for him.
But, hello!, that is not my job!!
My job is to love this man!!!
To honor this covenant that we made before God.
And to hold on to the Promises from the Lord that have been spoken
over me, my family and my husband.
Each and every day.
Intentionally.
During my walk with God the past 8 years,
I do have to say this,
there have been few people in my life that have been
such an accurate, authentic representation of the Father's heart.
And my husband is one of those people.
He is in the top 3.
He has shown me the love of Jesus when he was
completely oblivious to it.
You know we hear all the time this-
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ
is the head of the church; and He is the
Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is
subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands
in everything."
Ephesians 5:22-24
I hear people preach on wives submitting...
and doing...
and sacrificing everything...
and pleasing their husbands in all ways...
And I get this picture of a small mousy woman,
who has no identity,
no voice,
just invisible
except when something is needed.
This is not the blue print for marriage.
Many times people will not go into the next verses-
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church
and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her
with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to
Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any
such thing but that she should be holy and without blemish.
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies;
he who loves his wife loves himself."
Ephesians 5:25-28
Do you understand the magnitude of this?!!!
It says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church
and gave Himself for her.
Christ DIED for the church.
He died for you.
He died for me.
He died for each and everyone of us.
Husbands are commanded to die to themselves
for their wives.
This is a two part command where the husband dies to himself
while the wife completely submits to her husband.
In doing these two things you become one,
in order and covenant with The King.
My husband and I have completely different passions,
aspirations, dreams and destinies.
While we keep each other at the center of what we do,
we both chase after our dreams.........
yet separately.
My husband is my biggest cheerleader, encourager,
and motivator.
Never once has he made me to feel guilty or condemned me
for chasing after my Passion.
He sacrifices extra time in the week so I can
be a part of the ministries I'm called to.
He sends me on missions trips while keeping our lives
here at home flowing in my absence.
He makes me stop and go spend time with The Father.
He knows when I am walking in close relationship with
God and when I am struggling to hold onto the hem of His garment
while life throws its arrows of distraction and deceit at me.
He chooses to die for me daily.
And I choose to submit to him daily.
This man balances my gift of being a mercy giver
with truth and grace.
He will stop for the one.
(He may kill me for this.)
He has called me on so many occasions
telling me of a need he sees that he has to do
something about.
Of someone who is in dire need and he has to help.
He has such a heart of compassion yet can bring balance to
both of us with his amazing gift of discernment.
He shows me Jesus.
He points me to Jesus by the way he loves
and sacrifices.
Yes, we have gone through absolute hell....
we have been so close to breaking at times...
that is what marriage is...
but we have never given up on one another
and the Grace of God is always enough.
So even now.....
years later,
I can say,
Yes!!!,
marriage is
Wonderful,
Bright,
and
Beautiful....
When you allow Him to come in and
be the one who completes your marriage.
He will show up in the most unexpected places.
When you focus on Him, everything else fades away.
And you can love and show love and see love in everything.
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