The Value of a Life

Who determines the value of a life?
You?
Your mother?
Your father?
Your friends?
Your enemies?
Who has the ultimate say on whether your life is worth living??
What about if it's worth dying for?

I am in a place where there has been quite a bit of change in my life.  I made a choice to
lay down my job as a preschool teacher to be able to be home full time with my son.
This was a very painful decision for me because I LOVED my job....but I love my son
more.

I honestly am enjoying the peace that has come during this transition.  No, things haven't
been easy peasy but they are a little more calm.  Still in all of this, I have at moments felt
like a failure---like I failed myself or my child in some way.  And I have also had moments
of disheartening reality.  Is this all I am ever going to be?  Will I ever have a job that will
help contribute to our family financially?  Am I always going to be a stay at home mom?
It's made me deeply question who I am and what value do I have.

I have always had a deep rooted desire to be a difference maker.  As I child I had two
solid beliefs- 1.) That I would live to be 100 years old.  and 2.) That I was going to make
history one day.  Little did I know that yes, one day, I would be a part of His-story but
that everything in "life" would challenge those two beliefs.

I am not confused about my identity.  I know who I am.  And I know who I am in Him.
And as I get older, I become more and more comfortable in my own skin.  I love being
home with my son; homeschooling him for this season.  I love being a mom.  I eagerly
look forward to being fully available to all three of my children next school year as they
each go off to full day school and I get this much anticipated season of rest.

But I am at that point that I'm sure we all tend to get to---where from the depth's of our
soul we are crying out, "God, when???"

I am quickly reminded of Esther and how she had to go through a year long process
before she could even go before the King.

When the wait is overwhelming, we must continue to trust and wait some more.

We live in such a fast paced, instantly gratifying society that we are too impatient to
go through the process of purifying that it takes for us to step into the perfectly laid
purpose that He has set out before us.

I don't want to fast forward and not have what it takes to walk this out with boldness,
humility and grace.

Day after day I will continue to hold on to His promise-
"Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord'
Psalms 27:14

I know at just the right time, in just the right season that the next facet of my beautifully
laid purpose will unfold right before me!