Finding Me In A World Full of Mommy Guilt

If you're a mom, then you've done it.

You've had that inevitable case of Mommy Guilt.

My husband had planned this amazing trip for us for my birthday this year.

Sadly, getting a sitter and everything set up for our children

as well as other circumstances hindered us from being able to go.

And I.WAS.CRUSHED!!!

My heart was broken.

See, I had just spent all summer....

ALL EXCRUCIATINGLY HOT summer with my three kids at home.

No trips to the beach, very few play dates,

and on top of it all my daughter had to have her tonsils taken 

out.

Also, before summer even started, 

I quit my job to stay home and home school

Kaleb, our little boy who has autism.

So I was craving and NEEDING this break away.

I don't feel like needing is a strong enough word.

I believe I told my husband something along the lines of

"If I do not get to get away for some sort of break,

then I am going to be the one breaking."

Dramatic....

....maybe...

Say what you want.

I have only had that feeling twice in my life and they have both been 

this year.

First, when I knew preschool was not working out for Kaleb

back in February and I (along with everyone else) was

just worn out from trying to make it work.

And then this instance where beautifully laid plans were made 

and fell through.

My wonderful husband responded by saying,

"You go somewhere. Go alone.  I will keep the kids.

Just go and relax and regroup and we will be here when you come home."

In case you didn't know this already,

I adore my husband.

He is the most considerate, giving,

compassionate man I know.

He knows what I need before I even do most of the time.

Then he waits ever so patiently while I get to the place 

of realizing that he is exactly right.

So I did.

I left.

BY MYSELF!!!

For the first time ever.

And let me just stop here and say,

I will be doing it again!!!

I had no idea how much I needed to get away,

to go and sit, alone, in the quiet.

To go to a restaurant and look at a menu and 

choose what *I* want to eat without having to think about 

ordering for three other people.

To sit and read and pray and spend time with God

without having to "squeeze" it in between

preparing meals and doing laundry and 

shuttling from one appointment to another.

Time stood still for one day....

for me.

And it was exactly what I needed.

You see,

we live in a world SATURATED with guilt and shame.

Especially us moms.

The past couple of years, 

I have struggled with so much Mommy Guilt.

Feeling like all of my energy gets poured into the one with 

special needs while the other two float by the wayside.

How maybe I should be more active in one's school activities

yet I was working and trying to get two other's settled in their own schools.

Or what if all of this time and research and fight for my beloved Kaleb

has been in vain.

Tons and tons of Mommy Guilt.

But I've also received Mommy shame from others:

"If you know he is like this then why wont you medicate? 

What will it take for you to finally medicate him?"

"Well I bet she would like to do girly things,

she does have two brothers, you know.

She needs a break"

"All he needs is a good butt whoopin'. 

I bet he would straighten up then."

How unfair is it to judge someone's situation when you 

are not the one walking in it.

But you know what,

we all do that as well.

What has brought me great freedom is the verse that says,

"There is now therefore no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus,

who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit."

Romans 8:1

How amazing is that?!

We, who believe, are all placed in Jesus so

there is no condemnation in Him.

He is not condemning me for my shortcomings.

He is not shaming me for the choices that I make.

But when we walk in the flesh,

we lose sight of the amazing freedom and grace we have been 

given by being placed in Him.

When we walk in the Spirit,

we access that freedom and grace fully and

there is absolutely NO condemnation.

How awesome!!

All guilt and shame melts away in His Presence.

Because in His Presence is freedom, peace, hope and joy

to overcome all!!

So I will do me,

without guilt,

and ignoring any shame.

I will take a break,

so I can re-energize and give my children

the best of me.

I will take care of myself without constantly

pushing myself to the back burner when things 

get crazy.

I will not allow all of the "demands" and pressure to be a perfect mom

to cloud my perspective on what I am doing right.

I will allow my weaknesses to be seen

because in my weakness,

He makes me strong.

We, as moms, have been given such
an incredible privilege.
I am so excited about what our children are going to walk in.
So much freedom and authority in Him.
It is absolutely mind blowing!!

But we have to realize that it is okay to take
time for ourselves.
It's not selfish.
It's not rude.
It's not inconvenient.

It is wise.
It is needed.
And it will bring good to you and
your children!!!

NO CONDEMNATION IN HIM!!!!