Guest Post by Amber Carter

I am so excited to introduce our Guest Post today. 

Amber is an amazing young woman of God!!

She is 16 years old, band member and soccer player at LHS.

She also goes on missions trips to Haiti in the summers.

She is such a reflection of the Father's heart.  

I love her spirit and the passion she has for Him and others.

God has great plans for this sweet child!!!

Since I was in the 5th grade, I had low self esteem and low self confidence. 

That surely took over me and soon did it rapture me completely. 

I basically fell into the trap of what others thought of me and I heard it everyday of my life.

"You're ugly", 

"You're no good", 

"You're a waste of space", 

and the worst one I would have to say is, 

"You are a mistake."

At this point of my life I had no positive out look towards my life. 

I was completely dependent on what others thought about me and the acceptance of others 

even if it was all negative. I felt as if it was my only choice I had.

It tore me down in every way possible mentally, physically, and emotionally.

How or why does someone let others dictate the way they see themselves? 

It's only words, why let them overtake you? 

The answers are basically the same, yes they are "just words", but words are very powerful.  

As James 5:3 says, " the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do."

It wasn't until I started surrounding myself with uplifting people and encouraging speakers, 

who spoke life into me through The Grace Of God, 

that I started to see who I really was and who I belong to. 

If it wasn't for God speaking through others,  I wouldn't be here inspiring you guys!!

These are just some of the few scriptures that brought me through and still helps me on my

 everyday walk with Christ that I think will also help you guys.

1) Genesis 1:27- So God created mankind in his own image, 

in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

2) Jeremiah 1:5- “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, 

before you were born I set you apart; 

I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

3) 1 Peter 2:9-  But you are a chosen people, 

a royal priesthood, 

a holy nation, 

God’s special possession, 

that you may declare the praises of him who called you 

out of darkness into his wonderful light.

And my ultimate favorite

4) 1John 3:1-2: See what great love the Father has lavished on us, 

that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 

The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 

2- Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. 

But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

I still struggle with low self-esteem and low self confidence to this day

but its okay to struggle with things in life, as long as you don't let it overtake who you are. 

As long as we have God on our sides we can overcome any situation and any circumstance that we may face, 

he will give us the strength and courage to carry through anything, 

AMEN!! 

And his plans for my life goes beyond my Wildest Dreams.

-Amber Carter

The Unfailing Love of a Good Good Father

There are two things that I think God so

desperately wants for us to have.

Relationship and Identity

God created us for relationship

with Him and I believe more than

anything He wants us to be able to stand 

boldly and confidently in who we are in Him.

When I was 19, I walked away from God.

I will never forget the day when I was hurting so 

badly from the circumstances in life and feeling

like I would never be able to be what He wanted me to 

be that I said, "I can't do this.  I can't be this person.

It's impossible.  So I'm letting you go."

And I mentally pushed him to the back burner of my

heart and for the next 2 1/2 years I turned away.

I lived life very selfishly.  

It was a huge time of growth for me as a person.

Yet I had no identity at all.

I didn't really know who I was.

I enjoyed worldly "fun" and lived weekend to 

weekend with no goals, ambition, or passion.

During this time, I met my future husband.  

We dated, got engaged, got married....

but shortly after we got married the war within

my heart completely unfolded.

You see those 2 years that I had turned my back on God,

He never turned His on me.

There would be nights I would cry myself to 

sleep because I missed Him yet I knew I couldn't 

live the way that the "church" 

led me to think I had to live to be loved and 

accepted by Him.

The doctrine that I had been raised on was 

completely void of Grace.

Back to the war....

I remember January 1, 2008 I was in my kitchen

in our little home and while doing dishes I had some 

Skillet playing and I said "Ok, God.  I am trying."

This was the beginning......

In February, Mike and I found out we were expecting our 

first child!!!  We went through the shock, then settled into 

planning for our future, then the excitement of having a baby 

sank in and then we lost it.

We lost our first child to a miscarriage.

I was extremely confused.

I was in the most agonizing pain I have ever been in.

I thought God was mad at me and was getting revenge on me

for those two years that I forsook him.

At this point, I still did not know who I was.

I have never been broken in the way that losing our first baby 

broke me.  I cried for two months straight.

But I had an amazing woman of God that had sown into me

for those 2 rebellious years of my life there to comfort me,

to speak Truth in Love.

And I knew I needed healing from The Healer and there was 

no way I could obtain this on my own.

So I surrendered.......

God doesn't just DO things,

He does things EXTRAORDINARILY!!

He does things in such a way that maybe in the midst

of it you don't recognize Him;

but when you look back on it you see "Yes, that was

God.  Yes, that was God.  Yes, that was God."

Even though I chose to walk away from Him at that point, 

I can see God's hand was still orchestrating

things in my life, still protecting me, still working in 

a way that in the end it would all be good because my heart

loved Him more than anything even when my head thought

I wasn't good enough for Him. 

He placed a seal on my soul the day I gave my life 

to Him as a little 8 year old girl!  

There is nothing I can do that will separate me from His love!!!

What an EXTRAORDINARY Father!!!! 

That was 8 years ago this month.

It has been a battle! But each and every day

I choose to go to Him.  I choose to seek out His

will for my life.  I choose to follow.  I choose to love

and serve.  I choose to let my voice be heard because

He has given it to me.  He has set me apart and here

for such a time as this.

What a good good Father we have!!!

I pray every person who reads this has such a 

fresh revelation of God's love for them just poured out into

their spirit right now.

Amen!!!

Crying In The Dark

As parents we try to do everything within our human capabilities
to train, steward and love our children well.

As a mother, my three children consume my everyday whether
mentally, physically or emotionally.  I love my babies.  But some-
times we have to put them to bed under less than ideal circumstances.
As I write this, I am listening to my six year old crying in the dark
because she made an unwise choice and had to go to bed early.

I am reminded of the various times that I, myself, laid in the bed
crying in the dark throughout my life.  Through tragic family deaths,
rejection, hurt, fear, through words spoken that cut deep, through
insecurities and rebellion and desperation.

God never promised us a yellow brick road that was void of bumps,
hills, or stop signs.  Quite the opposite actually.  Jesus said in John,
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.
In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have
overcome the world."

He said in this world you WILL have tribulation.  There is no way
around it.  We will go through these times that test our faith and hope
in Him.  But the exciting news is He overcame the world by dying on
the cross for you and I!!!

"Surely He has borne our grief,
He's carried our sorrows.
The chastisement of our peace,
Was laid upon Him"
-Rick Pino Isaiah 53

I leave you with this-1 Peter says, "So be truly glad.  There is wonderful
joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.  These
trials will show that your faith is genuine.  It is being tested as fire tests
and purifies gold-though your faith is more precious than mere gold.  So
when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much
praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the
whole world."

Amen!!!

When The Need For Validation Produces An Identity Crisis

Today's post is from a good friend of mine!!  

An amazing young woman of God that I love dearly!!  

Melissa and I both serve in ministries together and have also gone on a mission trip together.  

Over the past couple of years we have got to know each other more and really speak into one another's lives.  

Please join me in welcoming this beautiful woman to her first (and probably not last!) blog 

post at Love of Poppys!!!

When the need for validation produces an Identity Crisis

“Melissa you are such a nice person”,"Melissa you have such a beautiful smile.” ”Melissa you do such a good job. You’re awesome.” “Melissa your hair looks great. You are looking really pretty today.”

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of compliments like these for example when I’m at work and from some of my friends. It always feels good when someone compliments you. It’s nice to hear those things. It makes you feel good about yourself and can boost your attitude.But for someone like me who has struggled for so long with self-confidence, you can unknowingly become self-reliant on others’ compliments and thoughts about you; whether it’s your looks, your character, or your work ethic.                                                                                                                                                      

What happens when you have made it a necessity to hear these things, not from God, but from people in order to feel worthy, to feel good about yourself, or to feel like you matter?

 Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong, with compliments and receiving them but for myself personally, I’ve noticed that even when I know I’m doing my best at work, I don’t feel like I am until someone says something about my work ethic, or I don’t feel like I’m as nice of a person unless someone at some point in my day tells me that. It gets to the point where I become almost needy of affirmation from others. I must feel validated.

What does validation mean?

Validation means to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of.

Only by what people say, can my worthiness be real. My feelings of worth and importance I had let hang on the words of others and not what God has already confirmed and affirmed through His words that have existed way before I was formed.  When I realized this is what I have been doing for many years now. I really began to cry out to God. Now I knew where my battle of low self-esteem was rooted in. Now I knew why I so struggle with being confident in myself and allowing fear of rejection and failure cause me to miss out on so much.

I realized I had put my worth and identity into the wrong things.  

What are some possible dangers of needing constant validation?

1. You can hinder your fruit.

Galatians 5:22-23 [NKJV]But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Without proper confidence in the Spirit God has placed in us we can hinder the genuineness of our fruit. We are called to bear fruit, the fruit of the Spirit. Not just for ourselves but for others. Are we doing things because we are allowing it to flow naturally from within us or just so that someone else can notice? Ask God to reveal your motives so that you can genuinely reciprocate love, joy, kindness, patience, etc. and allow others to be blessed by it.

2. Any Word you receive doesn't take root.

·  Because of such low-self esteem or confidence, the negative side of that is that you have a hard time receiving positive things from people. It only lasts for a short time and then you are back to feeling rushed with negative feelings about yourself. Bad situations can come in and totally affect you, have control over your attitude, and make you feel worse.

3. You take advantage of fellowship and abuse those relationships with your brothers and sisters in Christ

Hebrews 10:24-25 [NKJV] And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

·  Time spent with the fellow believers can, as the above scripture says, be used to stir up love, good works, and exhorting one another. Having a constant need to be validated can interrupt what fellowship is for. Instead of about the WE, you want the focus to be mostly on Y-O-U. Any time you are with others, you don't feel attached and close to them unless they are focused on your situation, your problems, your victories, etc. But what are you doing to feed in to them, to add value to their life? You limit the beauty and essence of being with the brethren.

What are some way we can approach this issue?

1. Redirect your focus

·  Instead of focusing so much on your weaknesses and what you feel you're not comfortable with about yourself, start focusing on what God has affirmed in you through His Word. He loves you, thinks so much of you. The God of creation created you with purpose. Find your identity in Christ and what awaits you is a journey of being found complete in God and God alone. Begin to use scriptures to meditate on that allow you to declare and affirm what God has said about you.

Ex.

Romans 15:7 (NIV)

⁷ Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Colossians 2:9-10 (NKJV)

⁹ For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; ¹⁰ and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2. Serve Others

·  One thing that always helps you feel good is when you allow yourself to serve someone else. They need you just as much as you need them.  It will take the focus off of you and place it on someone else for a change. As believers, it is what we are called to do after all.

[Some examples: Text or call someone with something encouraging. Write a nice note for a friend or co-worker. Buy lunch for someone. Ask someone is there anything you can pray for them about.]

Now you will be reciprocating love to your brothers and sisters in Christ and sharing in their cares and burdens.

Galatians 6:9-10 (NKJV)

9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

 Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NKJV)

9 Two are better than one,

Because they have a good reward for their labor.

10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls,

For he has no one to help him up.

3. Pray and Rest in God

Psalm 55:22 (NKJV)

22 Cast your burden on the Lord,

And He shall sustain you;

He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

·         God cares for you. What concerns you, concerns Him. So if you are struggling with this like I am, give it to God. It is not going to be an easy task so prepare for warfare. 2 Corinthians 10:4 says that the weapons we use are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down such strongholds as this one. Every thought of unworthiness, low self-esteem, fear, condemnation shall be brought captive under the power and knowledge of Christ, in Jesus Name.

Heavenly Father, I thank you that we do not have to be trapped by the world’s standards of what is good but we can now stand in confidence that following Christ will reveal to us your good, perfect and acceptable will for our lives. You have already affirmed how worthy and how loved we are by you giving your only Son to die for our sins that we might be called your sons and daughters. The same power that raised Christ from the dead, lives inside of us.  Help us believe today that power is sufficient now as it was 2,000 years ago to free us to live confident, loved, and worthy in Christ. Amen.

Let’s continue this journey of freedom and affirming our Identity in Christ our Savior.

                                                                                                                                              

With Love,

                                                                                                                                                                Melissa Hayes 

Living Out of the Spirit

I had an incident yesterday that really bothered

me.  

We were in a public place and a woman scolded

my son (rudely!) without giving me a chance to 

correct him.....and I get sassy! Ugh!!!  And she

got sassy back.  Double ugh!!  And all of this sass

led to anger-not the good kind.

This doesn't happen to me often at all.  I am very

non-confrontational.  If anything, I am overly 

apologetic...to the point that it's annoying.  But there

was something about how someone spoke to my

youngest child that made the Lioness come to the 

surface and want to protect her little cub.

Later that evening, I was running through the events of the

day and I felt horrible for the way I acted in that moment.  

And it hit me---I wasn't living out of my Spirit!---or was

I?

What does living out of our Spirit look like?  Certainly

it is different for everyone just as we all are unique and 

not the same.  Right?!  Does living out of our Spirit look calm?

Peaceful?

Meek?

Quiet?

Gentle?

Patient?

Self-controlled?

Sure!  In some cases I bet it does look like these wonderful

traits.  They are, in fact, called the fruits of the Spirit,

But are there not times when we are to be 

bold,

fearless,

and confident?!

Are we not called to speak with authority and power

that can only come from Him?  And I'm sure at those 

times it may not always be gentle and meek.

Jesus only did what He saw The Father do and He would

only say what He heard The Father speak.  Yet, in 

knowing this, Jesus criticized and rebuked the Pharisees.

He drove the money changers and people who were

buying and selling out of the temple by knocking over

tables and chairs!  This doesn't sound like the Jesus that

is often portrayed to us in church.  That calm, cool, 

collected 24/7 Jesus.  No!!!  This sounds like a man that

was passionate!!!  Who was bold, fearless and confident

about His Father's business!!!

Back to the incident.  

No, I do not think I was living out of my Spirit in that moment.

One way I know is because I reacted instead of responding.

I let my emotions do all of the talking.  Another way I know

is because I felt guilt for my reaction.  And lastly, the first

thing I thought afterwards (when I was calm!) was I did not

show any love in that moment.  I was not an accurate 

representation of my Father to that woman or even to my son.

What a WASTE!!!!

There are times when we are called to be calm and quiet,

gentle and patient and to exercise self-control.  But then

there are times when we are called to be bold and passionate,

fearless and confident.  And it may not look like any of the 

things I have listed above and that's ok!!

If we stay in constant communion with Him and we lean 

totally and completely on the Holy Spirit, then His grace

will always be more than enough to lead, guide and direct

us through whatever He is calling us to in each and every

moment!

Hallelujah!!!

Oh Little Faith!

I love the story of Jesus walking on the water.  He was going

to meet the disciples and when they saw Him coming, they were

terrified.  They didn't recognize the man that they had spent endless

hours with because of fear!  Then  Peter says, "Lord if it's you then

tell me to come to you on the water." Oh, Peter!  Jesus tells him to come.

So Peter gets out of the boat and walks towards Jesus but when he 

sees the wind he panics and starts to sink.  He cries out "Jesus 

save me." and Jesus reaches out His hand and catches him.

Don't we all do this at times?

We tell God, "Lord, just let me do this, let me do that,

let me step into this, I am ready for that."

Then, when His perfect timing comes and we do enter into

what we have been waiting for, we often times become

fearful, we panic, we doubt.

We, as Jesus says, are of "little faith".

Today was a prime example of that for me.

My children are out on Spring Break and I love to do

things as a group with other friends and their kids but 

absolutely nothing worked out and I was extremely 

discouraged.  My kids were going stir crazy after three

days of rain and then using yesterday as a cleaning day,

it was time to get out of the house!!  

We went to our appointments this morning and when we 

were done we drove around aimlessly for about 15 minutes.

I knew if I just brought them back home that they would go

bonkers and it would be a "survive til bedtime" kind of day

and that was the last thing I wanted to do.  So we pulled in a 

parking lot and I shut the car off and I said, "We are going to 

sit here for a minute and pray and ask God to give us direction

and wisdom as to what we are to do today."  First, Kaleb prayed,

then Adia, then Kase and I was last.  When we got done 

praying Adia says, "Mom, did God tell you what we are 

suppose to do today?!"  Hahaha.  Unfortunately no, not at that 

point.  

I am just going to be completely transparent for a minute.

I love doing things with my kids but I do not like doing things

that I have no idea how its going to turn out.  I don't like doing

new things by myself or without my husband where the outcome

of what will happen and how the kids are going to behave and

respond is not obvious.  I tend to like the control and expectancy of 

what's to come...for many reasons.  But on the flip side, this is not

how I want to live my life or how I want my children to live theirs

either.

So we came home, ate lunch, grabbed jackets and left the house

once again.  

And am I so glad that we did!!!

We had an amazing afternoon together!!!  I braved taking them 

somewhere we had been before but never alone by myself! 

And we even went to a new place and tried out a new 

adventure that all four of us loved!!  

After I got home this evening, my husband sent me the sweetest

text:

"I'm glad you just went for it and took them places. Awesome

mother."

I cannot tell you what that meant to me.

Isn't that how it is with God?  He is just standing there waiting 

for us to take that step out towards Him, waiting for us to let

our strength and hope rest completely in Him.  And in doing that

comes peace to confront whatever may be lying before us. 

And at the end of it all we will get to hear, 

"Well done good and faithful servant!"

Amen!!!

Where's the hope in Hope?-When it's hard to praise Him in the storm.

Where's the hope in hope?!

Over the past 100 years, there has been a decline in hope,

actually a steady decline since 1900 with it's deepest impact

being from 1980-2000.

If you just look around at the state of our country, society,

churches, and homes it would be easy to say that there is 

absolutely no hope for this place.  Often times I hear people say

"Oh, America is going to hell in a hand basket."  This infuriates me!!

I hate it when people have lost all hope and then continue to 

spew their own hopelessness into an already dire situation.  Do we 

not realize that death and life are in the power of the tongue??

Proverbs 18:22

I have gone through much in life that has given me moments of

hopelessness or as I was younger, moments that completely 

stole all hope I had.  

In less than a five year span of time, my husband and I lost three 

people close to us very suddenly and very tragically. In this world, 

tragedy surrounds us or that has been the case for us.  But when the

last of these three deaths occurred, something changed in me. I was 

hurt, yes.  I wept, yes. But I yielded myself to the Lord thru this. I 

gave myself to Him and asked for Him to please help me search 

myself and give me peace through this.

He woke me up at 2 a.m. one morning and led me over the next

day and a half to just listen and dig into His Word.  The one thing that 

had remained in all of this is the word hope.  I was amazed when I 

looked up the word and saw such a decline in the use of it.  

It was actually heartbreaking.

*The definition of hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a

certain thing to happen.

*The biblical definition of hope is a strong and confident expectation.

(I like that one!!)

*Other words for hope are: utopia, castles in the air, day dream, 

dependence, fools paradise, fortune, greedy glutton, pipe dream,

thing with feathers and wish.

It is easy to see how our society and culture has lost all belief in

hope when they have resolved it to such words as these. 

When I was a teenager, 18, I remember telling a close loved one

that I didn't want to date anyone.  (My dad didn't let us "date" until

we were 18) That I believed if I waited, prayed and was patient 

that God would bring along just the right man at just the right time. I 

will never forget them telling me, "Ashleigh, you're living a fairy tale. 

That's never going to happen."  

In that moment they destroyed all of the ambition, anticipation, aspiration,

belief, confidence, desire, expectancy, faith and promise that God 

would do just that which I had been putting my hope in Him to do.

I would love to say that my "fairy tale" happened the way I was 

hoping for but it did not.  I chose to let God go for a season because

I did not truly understand the depth of His love for me and felt like 

I couldn't be what I had been told I was suppose to be for Him to 

love me.  I did not have a healthy identity in Him at that point in my life.

I gave up on hope.   

More on that at a later time.

The one thing that I have learned through all of this and that has been

so engraved on my heart is this:

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God 

through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we also we have access 

by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the

glory of God.  And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations,

knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance,

character; and character, hope.  Now hope does not disappoint,

because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy

Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:1-5

HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT!!!!!

I now know that its okay to grieve and be broken during heartache 

and tribulations but always remember that our hope in Him will never 

disappoint us. His will be the victory over life and death; tragedy and 

circumstance! 

Amen!!!

Hope does not disappoint!!!!